


You're the comeback kid.

by cherryvanilla



Category: The Runaways (2010) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Friends to Lovers, POV Alternating, Returning Home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:19:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2533928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryvanilla/pseuds/cherryvanilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I saw Kristen Stewart as I was leaving for work today,” Dakota’s mom says over dinner, causing her to nearly choke on her corn.</p><p>Her parents and Elle look at her curiously when her fork clanks on her plate.  “Um. Huh? Isn’t she in New York?”</p><p>“Looks like she’s back.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're the comeback kid.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the You Belong With Me inspired college AU, except everyone's gay/bi and there's no implied slut-shaming. This story was, uh, a really, really long time in the making. Thanks to imp for listening to me blather when I first conceived the idea, thanks to V for giving me advice when I couldn't get anywhere, and huge thanks to zarathuse for beta. This turned into something different than I'd originally planned, but I'm pretty okay with that. 
> 
> Here's a bit of [fanart](http://princedoki.tumblr.com/post/39081385314/she-wears-short-skirts-i-wear-t-shirts-but-not) that really helped inspire me when this story was going nowhere. 
> 
> Here's a [mix](http://8tracks.com/sometimesalways/you-re-the-comeback-kid) whose order concedes with the lyrics within this story, except for the last two songs which are 'Dakota add-ons.' (My original writing playlist was, uh, a lot longer)
> 
> And here's a graphic: 
> 
>  
> 
> Title by Sleigh Bells.

______________________________

_the summer smells like sin and wonder_

“I saw Kristen Stewart as I was leaving for work today,” Dakota’s mom says over dinner, causing her to nearly choke on her corn.

Her parents and Elle look at her curiously when her fork clanks on her plate.  “Um. Huh? Isn’t she in New York?”

“Looks like she’s back.”

“Huh,” Dakota says again, staring at her plate.

“That’ll be good for her dad.”

“Um, yeah, sure,” Dakota says, rolling her eyes at Elle at the soon-to-follow gossip. Elle giggles down at her food. “May I be excused?”

At her parents’ nod, Dakota takes her plate to the kitchen before bounding upstairs to her room.

Dakota hasn’t seen Kristen since she was 14 years old; just thinking about her makes blush. She’s well aware now, when she allows herself to think back on those embarrassing times, just how pathetic she was. She’d follow Kristen around like a lost puppy, hang on her every word, look at her like the sun rose and set around her. Dakota couldn’t exactly help it -- Kristen was the coolest person she’d ever met. They’d grown up a few houses away from one another and once Dakota had gotten to high school, Kristen had taken her under her wing a bit. Then she decided to leave town at 18, heading to New York to try acting because she thought it’d be easier than staying in L.A.

Dakota had hugged her in the middle of their street and buried her face in her neck, loving the way she smelled -- not fruity or flowery like her Mom but almost musky. They haven’t really talked since and aside from one letter with a picture of Kristen sitting against a windowsill -- in a tank top and backwards hat -- looking rather androgynous, Dakota hasn’t seen her since that day four years ago.

And now she’s back.

Dakota lies down on her bed and closes her eyes, her body thrumming. She’s so glad to have had her own room the past few years, even though Elle sometimes still sneaks into her bed at night. She’s feeling that lazy sort of arousal that occurs whenever something reminds her of Kristen. Which is basically if she passes a girl in plaid and Converse at school or if she hears the names of classic rock bands and singers Kristen used to go on and on about, like Rush and Pink Floyd and Bob Marley. Dakota hadn’t realized what it was back then. She just thought Kristen was the coolest thing since sliced bread. It took her a while to realize it’d been a crush, or that she liked girls to begin with.

Her thoughts turn to Lucy, how they’d kissed over the summer by the bleachers, watching the football training camp.

“But don’t tell anyone,” she’d said. Dakota had nodded even though the idea of hiding made her feel shitty.

Now tomorrow is the first day of sophomore year and she’ll probably see Lucy on campus and Kristen is back and really, Dakota thought life was supposed to get _less_ confusing after high school.

__________________________

_love hurts when you do it right_

Kristen heads up the steps to the Physics building with a distinct sense of déjà vu. Sure, her high school campus was never this big but the first day of classes never fails to feel the same. Coupled with the fact that she's living back home again, Kristen feels like she's 17 rather than 22. She didn't really want to leave her dad alone, though. All the boys had with their own lives now, and Danny’s just gone off to school himself. Her mom is off in Europe, trying to ‘find herself’ and her dad is sitting at home with divorce papers. Kristen can't imagine he's taking it well, no matter the brave face he's put on. She and Rob have been done for two years and at times she's not sure _she’s_  totally over it, although she definitely tried to be, going home with as many people as she could the past year while living in Brooklyn.

Kristen's stuck in a lot of basic classes in addition to her writing ones, given that it's her first semester here, and that's definitely not helping the high school-esque vibe. But the absolute topper is walking into Astronomy 101 and seeing Dakota Fanning sitting there.

At least-- Kristen thinks it's her; she doubts Dakota's sister is this old yet, but then again it feels like forever since Kristen’s been away. Dakota hasn’t seen her yet, just her profile visible. She's sitting in the middle row of the lecture hall, while Kristen would've pegged her for the front. Normally Kristen would park herself in the back, but, well. It's kind of nice to see a familiar face. And Dakota always was a cool kid.

Kristen tosses her bag onto the table in front of her and turns her hat backwards as she sits.

"’Sup, man," Kristen says, corners of her mouth turning up.

There's a half a second in which Dakota looks at her with an unreadable expression and it’s long enough to make Kristen wonder in equal parts if a) she does indeed have the wrong person or b) Dakota just doesn't remember her. The latter would probably be one of the most embarrassing things to happen to her, especially since she actively avoids placing herself in positions of vulnerability such as this. But then Dakota's face breaks into a brilliant smile and she looks just like the girl Kristen remembers.

“Kristen,” she breathes, voice a little wondrous and that -- wow. No one really says her name like that. She flashes to when they were younger, how Dakota definitely had some hero worship going on, maybe-- maybe more, as she got older.

She shakes her head imperceptibly.

“Hey Coda,” Kristen says, smirking a little.

Dakota scrunches her nose up. “You and Elle are still the only ones who call me that.”

Kristen shrugs.”I can't take credit, man. I steal all my best material.”

Dakota giggles, fucking _giggles_. And yep, Kristen thinks, she's exactly the same. Except, well, she's not. This Dakota is a woman. Her voice is deeper, her face is fuller and she's wearing makeup and a short dress.

To put it quite simply: this Dakota? Could be trouble.

_________________________

_i gotta crush on you, i gotta crush you_

It’s surreal as fuck sitting next to Kristen during class. The odds of Kristen taking this particular elective to meet the breadth requirement were slim to none, except now that Dakota thinks about it, she always did love lying out on the lawn and trying to see any stars that weren’t drowned out by the street lights. Still, it’s -- strange. Dakota was always used to their age difference preventing something like this from happening and now four years and a different setting finds them in a reality in which being in the same class together is not a completely foreign concept.

“Seems like it could be cool,” Kristen says of the class once it’s over.

Dakota nods while packing up her books. “Yeah, looks like it. So like, did not all your credits transfer or something?”

“Some did but like, I was taking a lot of acting courses and shit, cause it was all specialized. So uh, the basic requirements I’m completely missing.”

Dakota nods again and throws her backpack over one shoulder while Kristen opts for both straps.

“You don’t have the book,” Dakota notices.

Kristen scratches at the back of her neck sheepishly. “Uh, yeah. Look, man, I’ve got no idea where the bookstore even is on this campus.”

Dakota laughs as they start to walk. “No biggie, I can show you. Are you free now?”

“Yeah, uh,” she fumbles for a piece of paper in the pocket of her hoodie. “Yeah, free till 2 and then I’ve got statistics.”

“Gross,” Dakota says, making a face. “Took it last semester.”

Kristen shrugs. “Probably best for me. I can’t handle like, detailed math. This astronomy class might kill me with that, actually, now that I think about it. Shit.”

Dakota feels a fond smile form on her face. “Come on, it’s this way,” she says as they exit the Physics building.

“So you don’t seem too surprised to see me,” Kristen says casually as they walk, slipping on her sunglasses.

“Why do you say that?” Dakota asks, unsure why it makes her feel so jittery.

Kristen shrugs one shoulder. “I dunno, you’re not like, grilling me on what I’m doing here.”

Dakota ducks her head, heat rising to her cheeks. “Uh, well. My parents saw you the other night. And like, I mean we know what’s going on with your folks and all, so.”

“Pretty easy to put two and two together,” Kristen finishes.

Dakota shoots her an awkward smile. “Guess so. Our families still talk and all, so. I’m sorry. This has gotta suck.”

Kristen snorts. “You said it, man. Hey, do I have time for a cig?”

Dakota blinks and looks out to where the building is just ahead of them. “Uh, yeah, sure. We can just-- chill.”

Kristen laughs and ruffles her hair, just like she used to when they were younger. “It’s good to see you, kid.”

Dakota rolls her eyes, bats her hand away playfully. “Not a kid,” she mumbles, sounding exactly like one. Kristen must be thinking the same thing because she laughs loudly as they make their toward the building, sitting on one of the benches and lighting up.

“My mistake. You want one?” she asks around her cigarette.

Dakota shakes her head. “Nah, I’m good.”

Kristen grins at that, a little syly and god, Dakota would kill to know what she’s thinking. She looks -- she looks even hotter than Dakota remembered, clad in skinny jeans, a hoodie and Converse, her hair dark and messy, shorter than it used to be.

“So how’s your dad doing?”

“Eh, you know. Quiet, drinking, all that good shit.”

Dakota winces. “Sorry, man.”

“Yeah, well,” Kristen says around the smoke she’s exhaling. “Kinda should just be around right now, you know? Besides, it’s not like shit was going too well in New York anyway.”

“No?” Dakota asks hesitantly, a little surprised Kristen’s talking to her like this, like the two of them have never been apart. She always treated Dakota less like a kid than anyone else, would have mature conversations with her and use big words Dakota didn’t always understand back then, but wanted to. She never treated Dakota like she was on a different level than her and was always pretty candid about her emotions. Dakota’s stupidly happy that hasn’t changed, that it doesn’t feel awkward at all -- hanging out with the girl who really meant a fuckload to her childhood and adolescence, in more ways than one.

“I did two years of mostly just acting classes and like, some other basic core shit which was mostly English and like, I wrote a lot and realized I was sorta done with learning everything I could with acting, after those first couple of years, you know? So the last two have just been me struggling and not finding work and dealing with my dumb breakup.”

Dakota startles at that. “You and Rob?”

Kristen tilts her head back against the wall and blows the smoke upward. “Yeah, shit just wasn’t working out.”

“I’m sorry,” Dakota says awkwardly.

“It’s fine, we both had a lot of self-exploration to do.” She’s got a wry look on her face and once again Dakota would kill to know what’s actually going on in her head.

“Well, um. I’m glad you’re back,” Dakota says dumbly. “I mean, not like, that all this is going on but, uh,” she adds in a haste.

Kristen laughs loudly and nudges her with her elbow before throwing her butt onto the ground. “I get it. And it’s fine, whatever, I’m excited to like, explore the writing program this place has got. I write a lot of poetry now.”

“Yeah, you sent me one,” Dakota says as they start walking and then feels stupid again. That was a while ago.

“Shit, I did, didn’t I? I’m sorry, Coda, I meant to write more,” Kristen says, as if she could read everything Dakota’s thinking. It’s a little annoying, actually, considering how much of an enigma Dakota’s finding Kristen to be already.

Dakota waves her off. “Don’t worry about it, you were busy. It was a good poem, though, from what I can remember.”

Dakota’s downplaying it completely. It was a great poem, one she still has stuffed in her night table, crinkled, worn looseleaf from the many times she’s re-read it. It was about New York and finding yourself and just -- growing up.

“Thanks,” Kristen says softly as they finally make their way into the building. Dakota would never step foot in this bookstore for anyone else; she gets all her shit online and avoids it like the plague. But for Kristen, she’ll make an exception.

__________________________

_as i crawl into the spaces_

They suffer through the nightmare that is getting her books, which is way more intense than Kristen’s prior experiences with this shit.

“Jeez,” Kristen says as they finally escape hell and make it back outside. “Why didn’t you warn me, man?”

Dakota laughs, light and lilting. “It’s a rite of passage, one you will never make the mistake of repeating.”

Kristen flips her the bird. “Well, I need a fucking coffee after that shit. You down?”

She looks at Dakota, catches a weird expression on her face. “What?”

“Nothing, uh,” Dakota says, glancing at her phone. “Nothing, it’s cool. You’ve got what, like another hour?”

“Yeah, about.”

“‘Kay, there’s like a coffee shop and places to sit in the Student Center which isn’t far from the math building.”

“Sounds cool,” Kristen says. “If you’re sure you’re free.”

Dakota nods. “Yeah, it’s cool. Just gotta head to practice around the time your class is.”

“Practice?” Kristen asks, as she follows Dakota toward the direction of the student center.

Dakota drags a hand through her hair. It’s definitely longer than the last time Kristen saw her, and maybe a little darker. She probably dyes it.

“Uh, yeah. Cheerleading.”

Kristen blinks. “There’s cheerleaders here?”

Dakota laughs and bumps her with her arm. “Of course, silly, there’s a football team after all. Gotta have all that crap and a mascot, you know.”

Kristen groans. “I see. I only care about like, baseball, a little. And tennis.”

Dakota hums. “Football’s okay, I mean, it’s not even totally my thing. Like, that and basketball are cool, I guess. But I’ve been doing the cheerleading since high school and I like to stay involved and stuff at school so I tried out last year, made the squad.”

“Well, congrats,” Kristen replies, not really sure what else to say. She really doesn’t care much about school sports and she _definitely_ doesn’t care about cheerleading but it’s cool if Dakota does. She’s probably good at it.

Dakota makes a face. “It’s fine, Kristen,” she says, sounding amused. “I know it’s not exactly your thing.”

Kristen laughs, feeling a little relieved for some reason and a little comforted at how well Dakota can read her even though they haven’t seen one another in forever. “Never really stopped being kind of a tomboy, you know,” she says, pointing to her outfit. “Unlike some people,” she smirks, nodding to Dakota’s -- dear god, that dress really is short. Kristen’s eyes catch on her legs, her thighs, the way they’re still summer-tan.

She’s gotta knock that shit off.

“Was more of a phase,” Dakota admits.

“A phase of wanting to dress _exactly_ like me,” says Kristen, grin widening.

Dakota groans and leads them inside the building. “You’re gonna embarrass me forever, aren’t you?”

Kristen pretends to think about it as they get in line for coffee. “Well… maybe not _forever._ Just to start.”

“Jerk,” Dakota laughs, pushing at her again. Dakota’s bare arm drags against the fabric of her hoodie, sending a spark through her.  

“Well, nice to see you coming into your own,” Kristen says, tamping down everything she’s feeling.

“I’m all grown up,” Dakota teases, grinning toothily.

Fuck yeah, she is. Kristen revises her prior assessment: this Dakota is _definitely_ a problem.

______________________

_something more beautiful than is there_

Dakota barely makes it to practice on time and when she gets onto the field, after changing in the empty locker room, Lucy looks annoyed.

“I thought we were gonna go over some stuff before practice?”

“Sorry, got tied up with an old friend,” Dakota says, stretching a little. “Besides, what’s there to go over?”

“I’m cheer captain, Dakota. I gotta start brainstorming early.”

Dakota huffs and drops to the ground, bending to touch her toes. “Uh, that’s what we did in Camp over the summer, remember?”

“Yeah, but it’s been a few weeks and I like to stay fresh, you know that.”

Dakota’s about to say something else but she’s saved by practice coming to a start.

It goes fine, but Dakota can already see Lucy’s letting her promotion to cheer captain at the end of last season go to her head. Lucy went back to Michigan at the end of the semester, so they hadn’t seen one another for most of the summer, until Camp for two weeks in August. They talked about other things when they Skyped and phoned each other and it was great, but now it seems like Lucy is planning on reverting back to the way she was last spring which is: all cheer, all the time. Dakota gets it; this is a huge thing for Lucy. She’s done cheer all through high school, has gone to competitions all over the U.S. and _won_. Lucy’s pretty damn amazing at it, is the thing.

Dakota likes her a lot, but she also likes other things than just cheering.

Dakota goes when Lucy invites her back to her dorm, but she’s preoccupied, thinking about her coffee with Kristen. They talked a lot and it was easy and fun. Kristen told her what her brothers were up to and Dakota gushed about Elle. They compared their schedules, discovering they have only the one class together, but that they’ll have the opportunity to meet up on campus on different days as well.

“My roommate isn’t in,” Lucy says when she opens the door and Dakota tamps down a sigh. She doubts Lucy would’ve invited her back her if she were.

Dakota’s not about to force someone out of the closet when they’re not ready, but she also really doesn’t want to be with someone who’s ashamed of her. Lucy’s so pretty though and Dakota’s -- well, she’s never had a real girlfriend and she wants one. Badly.

They sit on Lucy’s bed while she cues up music on her laptop. It’s some country stuff that Dakota doesn’t really care for, but whatever.

“Been thinking about you,” Lucy whispers, climbing on top of Dakota, her bare legs brushing Dakota’s own, the fabric of their matching skirts touching.

“Same,” Dakota says and it’s not a lie, it’s just -- less, since Kristen turned back up in town. But it feels good when Lucy’s hand cups her face, thumb brushing her cheek. And it feels even better when she closes the distance between them, their breasts pressed together.

Dakota pulls her down and kisses her and tries not to think about dark hair and green eyes.

___________________________

_until the night falls_

_we're the only ones left_

Kristen’s life over the next few weeks becomes hanging out with her dad at night, Skyping with Suzie and CJ, doing homework, and seeing Dakota as much as she can in between classes and everything else. Dakota invites her to her house for dinner one Tuesday and it’s great to see Elle and the Fannings again. They sit on the swingset in the backyard after dinner, where they would spend a lot of their summers. When Elle goes inside for bed, Kristen pulls out a cigarette.

“How’s cheer practice going?”

“Not bad,” Dakota says. “Gearing up for the first big game, you know?”

“Sure. Hey, wanna get lunch tomorrow?”

“Um, can’t. Plans.”

Kristen narrows her eyes. The past few weeks any time Dakota can’t do something, or looks at her phone, a little guiltily, all she says is, ‘sorry, plans.’

Kristen drags her sneakers along the grass as she swings back and forth. “Look, Coda, if you don’t want me to meet your friends or whatever, it’s cool. But like, tell me and then stop being all secretive and shit.”

Dakota whips her head to the right. “No, it’s not.” Dakota sighs and Kristen watches her bite her lip. She looks so fucking good tonight, no makeup like she usually wears at school, hair pulled back in a ponytail, a t-shirt and sweatpants. Kristen can’t help it -- she’s always been so much more into a casual look than dresses or skirts, but it’s not like Dakota looks bad in those either.

“It’s, um. This girl. That I’m sort of… seeing.”

Kristen feels a jolt of surprise course through her. “Oh, uh. Wow.”

Dakota laughs in return, but it sounds a little mean. “Yeah, I’m, you know. A lesbian, I guess. I haven’t really uh. I mean she’s -- I was never, like, interested in boys.”

Kristen nods rapidly, brain unable to keep up. Fuck, fuck.

“I’m bisexual,” Kristen blurts out, because yeah, she should tell her that.

Dakota’s lips part as she looks at Kristen from her spot on the swing, the two of them having stopped, their feet on the ground.

“Oh. Really?”

“Yep,” Kristen says. “So, like, this girl. Does she not like you hanging out with me or something?”

Dakota’s still staring at her and blinks hard, shaking her head. “No, I mean. She doesn’t even know you. She’s just kind of weird about, like, this whole thing. That we’re doing.”

“Oh,” Kristen says, starting to swing again. “Well, I mean, everyone has their own pace, you know?”

Dakota sighs. “I know. But like, she won’t even come over to my house. And she just wants to stay in her room and shit.”

“Well, you gotta weigh it, man.”

“Yeah. I know.” Dakota looks at her, smiling so wide and stunning. “Thanks, Kristen. It’s -- it feels good to talk about this with someone who can, um, relate.”

“Anytime,” Kristen says, the word sticking in her throat a little. She’s not sure she’s ready to hear about Dakota with a girlfriend. She was just getting used to the idea of wanting her. Now to find out she isn’t just gay, but gay and taken… well, it’s the cruelest sort of irony, actually.

____________________________

_how you’re gonna fall so far so fast_

_who you gonna blame this on_

Dakota feels a lot better after telling Kristen about Lucy, but she wasn’t exactly expecting the confession she got in return. It’s… a bit surreal, knowing for sure Kristen liked girls too. For years, as soon as Dakota was able to sort out what those feelings she felt for Kristen really were, she’d fantasize; about being old enough for Kristen, about Kristen actually wanting women, about -- about a lot of things. And now that it’s true, Dakota doesn’t really know how to behave around her. She’s so afraid it will all seem more obvious now -- the way she’d acted when they were younger. She really doesn’t want Kristen to be awkward around her.

Dakota isn’t dumb enough to think just because Kristen is bi that she’s automatically going to fall into Dakota’s arms, and anyway, she has Lucy. She just -- wishes she could feel more excited about the two of them. They haven’t even defined what they are to one another. Dakota _thinks_  Lucy is her girlfriend but everything has been moving at a snail’s pace. As it is they’ve only just gotten to second base. Which was -- really fucking nice.

She’s on the phone talking to Lucy, mostly about cheer stuff because, again, it kind of consumes her all the time.

“And like, the chances of the team even going to the playoffs is like, one in a billion right?” Lucy’s saying, wondering for the millionth time if they’re going to get to be seen on a bigger stage finally.

“So you’re telling me there’s a chance!” Dakota says exaggeratedly, holding back her own laughter.

“Huh? Dakota, I just said--”

Dakota slides her heels down the bed and stifles a sigh. “No, it’s from _Dumb and Dumber_.”

Silence greets her on the other end.

“The film?”

Lucy huffs. “Babe, I’m being serious here.”

Dakota looks up at the ceiling, rolling her eyes. “It’s just a joke, Lucy.”

“Yeah, alright. Look, I gotta go study,” Lucy says.

“Sure.”

Dakota hangs up, frustrated. Part of her wonders what she’s even doing. They barely have anything in common and Lucy just -- doesn’t really have a sense of humor.

Dakota scrolls through her contacts and comes to stop on Kristen’s number. She thumbs over her name before pressing ‘call’.

“Yo,” Kristen answers.

Dakota smiles immediately, already feeling warmer in her belly than her whole conversation with Lucy.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Not much. Doing this statistics homework. I dunno, man, I was fine the first few weeks but now I’m getting lost.”

Dakota tips her head back on the pillow. “Do you want some help or whatever? Like I said, took that course last semester.”

“Shit man, really? Yeah, definitely, whenever you can.”

“I’ve got a game Saturday but after I could.”

“Yeah?” Kristen says, sounding amused. Dakota can see the twist of her lips from here. “No hot date?”

“Ugh,” Dakota says unconsciously, biting her lip when she realizes. “Yeah, uh, probably not. Just got off the phone with her.”

“Yeah?” Kristen says again, but this time it’s soft.

“She didn’t get my _Dumb and Dumber_  reference.”

Kristen snorts. “Well, to be fair it’s probably not a common thing for people your age.”

“I don’t even care that she didn’t know it! But then like, she didn’t laugh afterwards and was all, ‘I’m trying to be serious, Dakota’,” Dakota says, making her voice deeper and exaggerated when she’s quoting Lucy.

Kristen laughs. “Okay, I doubt she sounds like that.”

“Shut up,” Dakota says around a grin.

“No seriously, what was that? Darth Vader?”

“Shut upppp,” Dakota repeats, flat out giggling now.

Kristen laughs some more before saying, “But hey, seriously, bummer, man.”

“Ugh,” Dakota repeats. “Yeah, so, statistics would probably be a better idea.”

“Eh, it’s only Tuesday. You two will probably make up.”

Dakota groans. “We always make up, but it’s like -- never mind.”

“Hey,” Kristen says seriously, “I said you could talk to me about it. I meant it.”

“I appreciate it. I don’t wanna bore you with my dumb teenage angst.”

“Oh please, Coda, like you’re a bother.”

Dakota smiles hard, looking up at the ceiling and kicking her feet a little. “Oh, yeah, I’m sure I never bothered you at all. Always coming over and wanting to play, even when you started dating Rob.”

Kristen’s silent for a moment. “You never bothered me, man.” She sounds so earnest that Dakota can’t help but believe her.

Dakota wants to tell her, then. That she realized after Kristen had left what she’d been feeling at 13, 14. She wants to fucking admit it to someone because she never really has before, because Kristen was honestly her first crush ever and everyone just thinks she was Dakota’s older high school friend when it felt so much more than that to Dakota.

And then she was left alone, and by 15 she knew she was definitely gay and no one else around here was. That she knew of, anyway. She’d wanted a girlfriend so fucking bad and didn’t know how to make that happen. So she spent high school listening to stories of her friends getting kissed and having sex and kept waiting for her own turn. Then college happened and Dakota was so fucking excited because it meant new faces and people from different places and _opportunity_.

So she went to a few parties and hung out with friends who were in a sorority and kissed a junior who was taller and older and really hot and it was a good start to her freshman career, but Dakota had wanted to _date_  someone. And then she joined cheer and she and Lucy started up this slow burn flirtation that was exhilarating and _real_ , finally. Not some adolescent one-sided crush. And when they finally kissed this past summer Dakota was _excited_.

Now it seemed like the fantasy of being with Lucy was better than the reality. Or, more accurately, Dakota’s fantasy of _Kristen_ , back in her life and bi at that, was now a reality and it was better than anything she was getting with Lucy. Which -- wasn’t really fucking fair to Lucy or herself or, hell, to Kristen who was simply oblivious to all of this.

“Fuck,” Dakota whispers.

“Dakota?” Kristen says, sounding concerned.

“I’m uh, I’m good. I gotta go, though. Talk to you soon?”

“Yeah,” Kristen says faintly. “Sure.”

Dakota’s trembling when she hangs up the phone. She seriously needs to think about shit.

_____________________________

_one night of magic rush_

Kristen doesn’t see Dakota the rest of the week. They only have Monday’s class together but normally they’ll hang out for lunch or whatever. Kristen gets that Dakota’s feeling off or whatever so she gives her the space. They exchange a few texts and Dakota asks if they’re still on for Saturday night. Kristen replies with yes and then goes out to dinner and a movie with her dad Friday night.

She thinks about going to the game the next day. It’s not exactly her style but she’d really love to see Dakota do her thing. And okay, so maybe she wants to finally get a look at Lucy.

So she goes and sits high on the bleachers and huddles in her favorite fucking jacket which is her leather one that is also a hoodie (seriously, whoever came up with that idea is her favorite person ever) and longs for a god damn cigarette but these people would probably crucify her if she lit up.

She claps when the cheerleaders take the field, smiling immediately as she sees Dakota. Her hair’s back in a ponytail and she’s wearing a red and white pleated skirt and red top and christ, she looks good. Kristen mentally shakes herself, tries to figure out who Lucy is. Probably the girl with long red hair who is on top of the pyramid they’ve now formed. She’s skinny and tall and really attractive. When they finish, Lucy puts her arm around Dakota and leans in close, smiling. Kristen feels something in her chest clench.

She zones out during the game, texts CJ and Suzie and makes vague plans to hang with Alicia sometime next week. Which is possibly a bad idea because they always tend to fall into bed with one another when either of them is single. But fuck, maybe that’s what she needs: uncomplicated sex with a friend.

She watches Dakota anytime she’s out on the field, takes in how happy and carefree she seems, like she’s in her element. Dakota’s family is probably at the game somewhere and Kristen’s still not sure if she should head out towards the field when the game’s over. Maybe Dakota will find it weird that she just showed up without telling her. Kristen doesn’t wanna be that friend who is all up in someone’s business.

She heads down the bleachers and pauses, looking out towards where a few players, cheerleaders and families are.

“Fuck it,” Kristen says and heads over.

“Hey,” she says when she’s crossed the field, shifting from one foot to the other as she stands over Dakota who is bent down, tying her shoelace.

Dakota squints up at her. “Holy shit, hey!” She jumps up and hugs Kristen.

“Hey,” Kristen laughs.

“Oh my god, were you here for the whole game?”

“Yep. Survived and everything.”

Dakota giggles. She’s practically bouncing with energy. _Jesus fucking christ, she’s adorable_ , Kristen thinks.

“You were great,” Kristen says seriously.

Their eyes meet and -- and Dakota sobers. There’s a slight hitch to her breathing that echoes in Kristen’s ears. Kristen watches as she licks her lips.

“Um, yeah? You think so?”

Kristen has no idea how they went from giggles to this insanely charged energy in the middle of a football field, but she can’t say she minds it.

Their gazes hold, Dakota’s eyes so goddamn blue, the sun shining down around them. Kristen’s about to say ‘Fuckin’ A I think so,’ when Lucy bounds up to Dakota.

“Hey, who’s your friend?”

“Hey,” Dakota says, visibly shaking herself. “Uh, this is Kristen. I’ve known her since I was a kid. Kristen, Lucy.”

“Nice to meet you, man,” Kristen says, shaking Lucy’s hand.

“Yeah, same,” Lucy replies. “Your parents here?” she says to Dakota.

“Somewhere, I think.”

“Okay, well, I’m splitting.”

“Sure,” Dakota says, not watching her go.

“What--” Kristen starts but Dakota waves her off.

“Later. Mom! Dad!” she says, looking somewhere behind Kristen. And then they’re all talking and deciding to go to a diner, insisting Kristen come with.

Kristen thinks it’s a little weird, that she’s here and not Lucy. Sure, she’s been a friend of the family for years but Lucy is Dakota’s girlfriend, essentially.

When they’re finally in Kristen’s room, diet Cokes in hand, Dakota helping her with mind numbing problems for at least 40 minutes, Kristen caves.

“What’s up, Coda? You were pretty AWOL all week and then earlier was a little -- weird.”

“Weird?” Dakota says, head shooting up. She’s on her stomach on Kristen’s bed, legs bent at the knees, ankles locked, while Kristen lays on her side near her, the book in front of them. “Weird how?”

Kristen narrows her eyes. “Like, with you and Lucy. Her not hanging around and stuff.”

“Oh,” Dakota says, sounding relieved. She pushes herself up on one elbow. “Um, so. Like, I told her I thought maybe we should see other people.”

Kristen’s lips part. She’s glad she wasn’t drinking right now because she probably would’ve choked. Considering she really, really tries to play shit cool, it wouldn’t have been one of her finest moments.

“Wow. Spill, girl,” she says, hauling herself up into a sitting position against the wall, sitting pretzel style.

“I just. Like, we hadn’t been having too much fun and stuff. And she’s always stressed during the season. She focuses on this stuff more than classes. So, um, less pressure I guess? And I-- well, I haven’t really dated much so I was thinking I should. Do that.”

Kristen swallows, throat working. “Yeah, I mean. You’re young and shit.”

Dakota makes a face.

Kristen rolls her eyes and kicks at her leg with her sock clad foot. “Oh shut up, you know what I mean. You should like -- be having fun.”

The words stick in her throat a little. It’s probably the right advice but Kristen is some sort of masochist, being the one to deliver it.

Dakota’s staring down at the statistics book, looking oh so far away.

When she finally talks even her voice sounds distance. “I guess I really -- I had this romantic notion of like, the perfect girlfriend.”

Kristen rubs her foot along Dakota’s knee. “Things are rarely ever perfect. And like, perfect is overrated anyway. People are fucked up, man. Everyone has flaws.”

“Yeah.”

“How’d Lucy take it?”

“She was surprised at first, but thinks it’s a good idea. I mean, it kinda gets her off the hook for like, family meetings and more serious things she isn’t ready for, I guess.”

“Well, your family’s great,” Kristen says, smiling a little.

Dakota finally looks up then, meeting her grin. “Yeah, they adore you.”

“Course they do,” Kristen replies smugly and then ducks as Dakota throws a decorative pillow at her head.

“Oh-ho, you shouldn’t have done that.” Kristen gets onto her knees and starts tickling Dakota, her stomach, her ribs, behind her knee. Dakota gasps and squawks and it’s fucking adorable, the way she laughs, her head thrown back as Kristen forces her to turn over, straddling her thighs. Dakota’s hair is everywhere, having let it down from the ponytail after they left campus, light blonde strands contrasting against the deep blue of Kristen’s comforter.

“Stop, stop,” Dakota gasps, batting at Kristen’s hands as Kristen grins above her, feeling her body flush the more she realizes all the places they’re touching. Dakota’s legs come up to bracket her in, heel pushing against Kristen’s ass and Kristen falls forward with an ‘oomph’, hands pinning Dakota’s arms above her head as she goes. Kristen lands inches away from Dakota’s lips, their foreheads nearly pressed together. Her eyes widen at the same time as Dakota’s.

Their gazes catch and hold, just like earlier today but somehow even more intense. Dakota licks her lips again, almost nervously, and Kristen wants so fucking bad to lean down, press her mouth to the pink of Dakota’s, see what she tastes like. Instead her fingers move in restless circles at Dakota’s wrist bones while Dakota’s chest rises and falls.

“I win,” Kristen whispers roughly and then rolls off her. It’s a chicken fucking move but she can’t help it. This is -- it’s not a good fucking idea. By any means. Even if Dakota’s actually into it, which Kristen doesn’t exactly know. Sure, they’ve kind of talked around the fact that Dakota was all up in her business when she was younger, but it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Dakota was so fucking young and yeah, okay, she eventually realized she dug chicks. But there’s no clear correlation that Kristen played any sort of role in that self discovery and if she did, Dakota would have to confirm that. Kristen’s not about to assume, no matter how much she’d like to.

She can hear Dakota breathing a little unevenly next to her, can’t bear to look over at her sure-to-be flushed cheeks and, god, possibly dilated pupils. It’s all too fucking much and Kristen really needs a breather. Except this is her house and she can’t exactly be excusing herself.

Her own breathing isn’t much steadier as she stares up at the ceiling, some of her old stars still stuck there, bare arm brushing against Dakota’s.

As if reading her thoughts Dakota says, “Remember when we’d look at the stars in my backyard?”

“Yeah,” Kristen says. “You knew a ton of the constellations.

“Had that star chart my mom bought me. Made it easy.”

“Mmm. Shouldn’t have been surprised really to find you in astronomy, huh?”

Dakota giggles but it sounds more reserved this time, less carefree. “Guess not. There’s like, stargazing nights, um. Thursdays, I think? At the observatory.”

In The Real World Kristen would take that as an invitation. But being holed up in her childhood bedroom with her _childhood_  friend who is definitely no longer a child is confusing her sensibilities.

“That’s cool,” Kristen replies and it’s probably a douche move but fuck, she can’t really handle any of this right now.

She thinks she hears a small huff. “Like, we could go,” Dakota says finally.

Kristen’s body feels warm, so fucking warm, thrumming with want and need. She says the only thing she can, the only thing she _wants_  to. “Yeah, definitely.”

Dakota’s arm presses against hers tightly and Kristen gives in to the desire to press back.

They’re both quiet for long moments, Kristen getting rather acquainted with the spiderwebs in the corners of her room.

“Hey, what music is this anyway?”

Kristen completely fucking forgot she had her iTunes queued up. “Now? Sleigh Bells. But uh, before was like, Rilo Kiley and CHVRCHES, and like, Heart.”

She finally looks over at Dakota when Dakota says nothing. Her face is scrunched up. “I don’t think I know any of those.”

Kristen gapes at her until Dakota rolls her eyes fondly and swats at her shoulder. “What?” she asks, almost coy.

“ _What_?” Kristen sputters. “Jeez, girl, what do you even listen to? And how do you not at least know Heart?”

Dakota shrugs. “I probably do? I’m just bad at knowing artists and who sings what and shit. And I like, uh, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga and like, Black Eyed Peas -- stop looking at me like that!”

Kristen shakes her head. “I can’t help it, man, I’m a little horrified right now. “

“Oh and Justin Timberlake. Oh, hey, I like Band of Horses?”

Kristen puts her head in her hands. “Okay, well, you’ve got one point. Anyway, you need to at least like Heart. Heart is like, essential.”

“Okay, noted. Oh! I like Hilary Duff, too.”

Kristen’s gasp is undignified at best.

Dakota grins at her, open and gorgeous and Kristen’s stomach dives and swoops like she just went down the incline on a rollercoaster. “Kidding, kidding,” Dakota says.

Kristen lets out an exaggerated relieved sigh.

“Well, I  _do_  like one song…”

Kristen throws the pillow over her head, groaning, while Dakota just laughs and laughs.

________________________

_'cause that's what young love is all about_

Dakota spends all day Sunday thinking about Kristen. It’s possible she jerked off when she got home Saturday night, biting her lip and thinking the of feel of Kristen’s thighs against the outsides of her own, of the too-brief feel of her chest pressed against Dakota’s, of--

Yeah, so there was an orgasm. Multiple orgasms at that.

She’d been so fucking terrified that Kristen was going to call out their -- moment or whatever it was they’d shared after the game. It was nearly a relief when Kristen had brought up Lucy instead. What a shitshow that had been Thursday night.

First Lucy was surprised, then she was confused and annoyed and, finally, she realized what Dakota was saying was making sense.

“You’re right, I get too wrapped up in things during the school year. Maybe we should -- maybe casual is better. I mean, I like you a lot.”

“I like you too,” Dakota had said, which was the truth.

Honestly she probably should’ve just burned that bridge completely, said friends only. But, well, she wanted to keep the option open, not be hasty. Perhaps she was only feeling so lukewarm about Lucy just because Kristen showed up in town. Maybe she just needed to get excited about the idea of them again.

They’d actually gone out, Friday night. Like, for real. Just to Chili’s, but it was still fun. Then they drove up Mulholland, parked at the overlook to the city and made out in the backseat of Lucy’s car.

And then Dakota saw Kristen the next day and it was like Lucy didn’t even exist. It didn’t help matters that Lucy clearly still did not want to hang with Dakota’s family, and so that had ticked her off a bit, made her realize she’d made the right choice here. A friends with benefits thing really was the way to go. She couldn’t be Lucy’s girlfriend, not when Dakota was wanting things Lucy clearly couldn’t give.

After last night, though, Dakota’s beginning to worry that maybe the only reason she got with Lucy to begin with is because she’s the only other gay girl she’s met that gave her more than fleeting kisses at sorority parties.

The attraction is definitely there, but she’s thinking now she might’ve been pushing the rest of it. They listen to different music, like different movies, have a different sense of humor, and only have cheer in common, really. Dakota doesn’t need to be with someone who likes everything she does, but she’d like to be able to have a conversation that isn’t just about one thing. Because otherwise all they have is physical attraction and that’s not a girlfriend, that’s -- well, what they’re doing now.

Dakota’s body is thrumming with nervous energy and low grade arousal when Monday rolls around. She meets Kristen outside for them to drive to class together, which they started doing recently. Kristen’s wearing her skinny jeans and a Blondie shirt. She’s got sunglasses on and a cigarette hanging from her lips. Dakota wants to push her up against the car and kiss her until she moans.

“Um, hey,” she says instead, around the lump in her throat.

Kristen grins. “Hey.’ She opens the passenger side door for Dakota. Dakota rolls her eyes in fond amusement and chucks her backpack into the car before plopping herself down.

“So, like,” Kristen begins after they finish bitching about their midterm and how Kristen’s gonna need help in astronomy now too because ' _math, god dammit_ ’. “So like,” Kristen repeats, and Dakota watches as her knee bounces and her fingers tap restlessly on the steering wheel. “I made you a mix and shit. It’s in the glove compartment.”

Dakota blinks and slowly opens the hatch. There’s a CD resting on top of Kristen’s fingerless gloves, another pair of sunglasses and a Jetta manual.

Dakota flips it over in her hand, takes in the painstaking script of the tracks written in black marker, and the title written in red that reads ‘The Musical Education of Dakota Fanning Part 1’.

“Part one?” Dakota asks archly, not really able to formulate much else. She flips it over, looking at the tracklist. There’s Heart and the other bands Kristen mentioned Saturday night that she hasn’t heard of. And then there’s Marina and the Diamonds and The Knife and David Bowie. Dakota knows the last one, at least.

“To begin with,” Kristen says, voice sounding a little rough, hesitant.

Dakota risks a glance, takes in how Kristen’s staring straight ahead, fingers tight on the wheel. “So, like, I could’ve put it on a flash drive or something? But fuck that, man, I believe in CDs.”

Dakota swallows, thumbing over the titles. No one she’s liked has ever made her something before. She can’t tell Kristen that detail though, so she just says no one’s ever made her a mix.

Kristen pulls into the parking space in the campus lot and puts the car in park before looking at Dakota. She wishes she could see her eyes beneath her sunglass when she says, throatily, “First time for everything, huh?”

Indeed.

They step out of the car, but before they can start walking Dakota launches herself into a hug.

“Whoa,” Kristen says, hands come up to Dakota’s back nonetheless.

“Thank you,” Dakota whispers.

Kristen clears her throat. “Sure. Uh. Sure, Coda.”

Dakota moves back but their shoulders brush the entire walk to class and Kristen doesn’t move away.

Kristen escapes to the library after astronomy and Dakota lets her go, telling her she’ll get a ride back with Lucy or someone else after practice. She thinks Kristen’s eyes dim a little at that, but that’s just stupid. They never usually drive back together, since Dakota’s on campus longer.

Lucy invites Dakota to her dorm after but Dakota declines. She’d feel shitty getting a ride home from her after that, though, so she bums one off Heather who only lives about 10 minutes away. Dakota just wants to get home and listen to her mix, honestly.

Finally lying in her room, she lets all of the various lyrics wash over her. Dakota thinks about Kristen listening to these same songs. _Who Will You Run To_  particularly gets to her. It’s a bitter song, passionate.

 _i love this mix_  she texts Kristen after the second time she’s listened to it straight through.

She doesn’t get a response back that night and tries not to feel weird about it.

_______________________

_plug me in and flip some switches_

Kristen wakes up on Tuesday morning with a horrible fucking hangover, naked in Alicia’s bed.

“Oh, god,” she moans, dragging her palms over her face.

“That’s what you said last night, too,” Alicia murmurs beside her sleepily, kissing her shoulder.

Kristen groans again, stretching her arms over her head. “Why’d you let me drink so much,” she says, kicking Alicia’s shin.

“Because you wanted to,” Alicia replies. Kristen can hear the grin in her voice.

Kristen rolls over to face her, walking her fingertips along Alicia’s collarbone absently. “This was a stupid idea.”

“It was sex and you needed it,” Alicia replies simply, leaning in to brush her mouth against Kristen’s.

“If you’re sure,” Kristen says seriously, eying Alicia. She’s pretty sure there were feelings there at one point. She knows there were on her end, but probably not as deep.

Alicia rolls her eyes. “Get over yourself, baby.” She lifts herself out of bed and Kristen takes in the line of her back, the curve of her ass. “Get moving and you might get shower sex.”

Kristen laughs and lifts the sheet over her head, feeling a little giddy. That is until she looks at her phone and sees a text from Dakota.

“Ah, fuck,” she says, standing and crossing to the dresser where she thinks her shirt was thrown. She just -- really needed to get wasted and forget shit, too caught up in thinking about Dakota hanging out with Lucy after practice, what they might get up to in her room, if they’d put on Kristen’s mix while they screwed. It was all too much. Alicia was the perfect fucking distraction. Literally.

She types out a reply with nimble fingers: _hey sorry, didn’t see this till now. really glad you liked it, coda_. She hates herself for wanting to add a fucking heart or even just a smiley face.

“Get it together,” she says as she hears the toilet flush and the shower turn on. And then Kristen looks at the mirror in front of her and sees a dark, purpling bruise on her neck.

“Ah, fuck,” she repeats.

_____________________

_it's okay to say you've got a weak spot_

Kristen has a hickey.

Dakota knows she shouldn’t care; she can’t exactly talk here. She’s still seeing Lucy, has _talked_  to Kristen about Lucy. She has no claim whatsoever and it’s not like Kristen knows about Dakota’s crush. Or maybe she does but it’s not like they’re actually talking about those few ‘moments’ they had or whatever.

So, yeah. Kristen has a hickey and Dakota hates it more than she has any right to. And worse, Kristen’s totally been avoiding her. Their schedules don’t exactly overlap the rest of the week, but sometimes Kristen will come over for dinner or Dakota will join her and her dad. So when Dakota’s outside playing hoops with Elle and bounds over after Kristen’s car pulls up Wednesday night, she isn’t exactly expecting the brush-off but there it is, as big as the bruise on Kristen’s neck.

“Hey, man, I just gotta crash tonight, okay?”

“Sure,” Dakota says, trying to look anywhere but the mark. She knows she’s failing miserably. Kristen’s wearing her ‘mercenaries’ hat and a white tee. Her eyes are red and her face is flushed. “No, that’s cool.”

Kristen shoots her a weak smile. “Hey, glad you liked the mix.”

Dakota nods. “It was great. Listened to it twice, then pulled Elle in my room and made her listen, too. Funny thing: she knew more bands on it than I did.”

Kristen laughs but she also looks a little surprised. “Oh, so you listened to it in your room?”

Dakota looks at her quizzically. “Uh, yeah? Where else would I?”

Kristen shakes her head, scratching at the back of her neck. “Nah, right. Sorry, I’m just. I’m really shot. I’m gonna--” she points back to the house and starts walking.

“Okay,” Dakota says and starts walking back to her house until she hears her name.

Kristen’s standing in her doorway, biting her lip. “We still on for tomorrow?”

Dakota’s heart skips a beat. “Yeah. Yes.”

Kristen smiles, wide and bright. “It’s a date.”

Dakota smiles back just as wide. God, she really wants it to be.

__________________________

_you found a new world and you wanna taste it_

Kristen knows it’s probably dumb but she drives her car over to Dakota’s house the next night. They literally live a few houses down from each other -- Dakota could just walk to her, but Kristen kind of wants to pick her up. She really doubts this is a date, but if a small part of her wants to feel like it is -- well, that’s her business. She went over Alicia’s again after class yesterday and got drunk and finally confessed her crush on the kid she has no business having a crush on.

“She’s not a kid anymore, Kris,” Alicia said reasonably.

Kristen just groaned into her hands. “I doubt her parents would agree.”

“You just finished telling me how much her family loves you,” Alicia replied lightly.

“Don’t laugh at me, man, they’d hate me if they knew the things I wanted to do to her.”

“Oh, yeah?” Alicia said, slinging a skinny thigh over Kristen’s hips and mouthing at her neck. “And just what do you wanna do?” she whispered in Kristen’s ear. Kristen shivered all over, arched her neck, and moaned so fucking loud when Alicia slid down her body, put her mouth on her pussy and said, “Pretend I’m her.”

Jesus fuck, Kristen did and she was boneless and wrecked by the time they were done. And then Kristen was faced with Dakota in her driveway and --

Yeah.

So now she was knocking on Dakota’s door and picking her up. Dakota answers in a willowy sleeveless dress that Kristen wants to peel right off her, wedges, lipstick and a huge smile.

“Hey! I was just coming over.”

Kristen shrugs, feeling her face heat. “S’cool. You ready?”

“Hi Kristen!” Mrs. Fanning calls from the kitchen.

Kristen peers around Dakota and waves. “Hello, Mrs. Fanning.”

“You girls have fun,” she says smiling and Kristen groans internally. “And don’t be home too late.”

“Kay, Mom!” Dakota replies, rolling her eyes and pushing Kristen out the doorway. “Let’s go.”

Kristen puts on her iPod in the car and Dakota steals it.

“You won’t find any Hilary Duff on there,” Kristen smirks.

“Not looking for it,” she replies easily while the first few strands of _Who Will You Run To_  start up. “I love this one.”

“It’s great,” Kristen agrees, not about to tell Dakota how it makes her think of her situation with Lucy and, uh, Kristen’s own feelings for Dakota. Except it’s not Kristen’s job to say that (from what Dakota’s told her) it doesn’t look like much can happen between her and Lucy. It seems Dakota’s already realized that herself, anyway. And as for Kristen’s own feelings -- well, she really doesn’t know what she’s going to do about those.

They drive in companionable silence to the observatory until Dakota turns to her with those big doe eyes, looking serious as Kristen kills the engine. “I need to tell you something.”

Kristen has no idea why her hands begin to feel clammy. “Shoot.”

Dakota bites her lip. “I, uh. I came out to my family last night.”

Kristen feels like she just got whiplash. She’s been out to her family as bisexual for forever now, but they didn’t seem to care much since she was with Rob. They didn’t seem to understand that her sexuality isn’t just something that comes up when she’s with someone of the same sex -- it’s always a part of her. Dakota though. Jesus, Dakota’s gay and --

“Wow,” Kristen says, feeling flummoxed.

Dakota’s laughter sounds a little hysterical. “Yeah, I. I’ve just. I realized this past year I really just-- want to be honest, not just with myself, but with the people around me. And I needed them to-- to just know, you know?”

She covers Dakota’s hand where it rests on her knee and squeezes. “What’d they say?” Kristen asks softly.

“Elle basically said ‘duh’. My parents -- there was a lot of crying and hugging and them admitting they had a pretty good idea already, considering how I’ve never once talked about boys and how much time I seemed to spend with Lucy and shit.”

Kristen winces a little. “I’m proud of you, Coda,” she says, shaking off the stupid feelings of jealousy.

Dakota looks up at her again, those big blue eyes drawing Kristen in. “I told--” she breaks off, mouth snapping shut. “Uh. Shit, we should get going.” And then she’s bounding out the car, leaving Kristen confused as fuck.

They pass a few people outside looking through the public telescopes on the lawn and make their way inside to the viewing room of the observatory. There’s about seven other people there, maybe one couple. They look out at the skylight above them. It’s pretty gorgeous.

“You know they filmed that beginning scene from _Rebel Without a Cause_  here,” Kristen says absently, making her way up the stairs to the huge Zeiss telescope since it’s not occupied.

Dakota laughs, following her up. “I did know that.”

She stands close behind Kristen, making her swallow. “You want a turn?”

“Sure,” Dakota says and Kristen maneuvers to let her in front, the sudden proximity of Dakota’s body making her shiver. Kristen gives in and just hooks her head over Dakota’s shoulder, ready to play it off as a playful friend thing until she hears Dakota’s sharp intake of breath.

“Think I see Cassiopeia,” Dakota says, voice a little shaky.

Kristen closes her eyes and brings her hand up to Dakota’s waist, brushing her thumb along the side of her dress. “Yeah?” Her throat feels raw, like she’s been screaming.

“Look,” Dakota says, stepping aside so Kristen can see through the scope with her. Their cheeks are touching and Kristen can barely breathe. She licks her too dry lips.

“Where is it?” Kristen whispers.

“Big cluster on the far right.”

“Oh, I think I see it.”

They stay like that for at least a minute, just breathing one another’s air, Kristen taking in the fragrance of Dakota’s perfume, sweet and cloying, until her heart feels like it’s gonna beat out of her chest.

Kristen pulls back. “I need some air. Roof?”

Dakota straightens and turns to face her, cheeks a little red. “Sure.”

They head up, the breeze feeling good on Kristen’s face. There’s a bunch of telescopes set up, but the roof is almost deserted, probably the combination of it being fall and also a weeknight.

“Beautiful,” Dakota says, standing at the ledge and looking up at the sky. “Haven’t come here in forever.”

“Yeah,” Kristen replies, heading for a telescope, trying to get herself together a little. Dakota comes to join her at the telescope to her right and they look up at the stars, Dakota pointing out the constellations that are visible and Kristen letting her low, soothing voice wash over her.

It’s after 11 by the time they make it down to the lawn, but Kristen isn’t ready for the night to end. She tugs Dakota down onto the grass next to her, behind a row of scopes, while Dakota giggles and falls to her knees before shifting onto her back. They lie side by side, Dakota’s laughter tapering off.

“This has been fun,” she says and Kristen hums in agreement. Their shoulders are touching and so are their hands.

Kristen bites her lip and drags her index finger over one of Dakota’s knuckles, bracing herself for Dakota to tense up and pull away.

She doesn’t. Instead, she links their fingers together and turns her head. Kristen’s helpless not to mirror the movement, the sides of their temples touching, faces so close. Kristen holds her breath.

“Okay, so I’m just gonna say it. I… I told my parents it wasn’t really Lucy I was interested in. I told them it was you.”

Kristen’s eyes widen and her heart stops. “Jesus,” she mutters, heart stuttering and then restarting in her chest. “You. Shit, Coda, they’ll hate me.”

Dakota pulls back a little, eyes shuttered. “Is that all you have to say?”

Kristen lifts herself up on one elbow, matching Dakota’s stance. “It’s a fucking important thing to say! I’ve known you since you were a kid, what if they--”

“Shut up,” Dakota says, voice hard. “They don’t think anything creepy. They love you. I told them it’s probably just me alone in this. That maybe I fell for you a long time ago, but now I’m old enough to know it’s real.”

“Dakota--”

“And-- and I’m telling you now because it killed me to see you with that hickey and I know that makes me a hypocrite, Kristen, okay, I know that. But I figured-- I’d tell you and if you tell me it’s hopeless I’ll finally move on. Just… don’t let this ruin our friendship, okay? That’d kill me.”

Kristen stares at her, unable to speak. Her mouth wants to work but it refuses to do so. Kristen’s mind is swirling with a million questions like ‘why’ and ‘what’ and ‘how’ but the only thing she can do when her body decides to finally cooperate is fist her hand in Dakota’s hair, bring their mouths a breath apart and whisper, “Shut the fuck up,” before pressing their lips together.

Dakota lets out a squeak that shouldn’t be adorable and grips Kristen’s shoulder, opening her mouth and allowing their tongues to brush. Kristen’s slides between Dakota’s lips and Dakota moans, her fingers digging into Kristen’s flesh as they fall back onto the grass, Kristen moving over her, covering half her body.

“Oh, fuck,” Kristen gasps as their lips part, slick with saliva, before she captures Dakota’s mouth again, fast and fierce. Dakota’s hands slide up to her hair, pulling a little and Kristen groans. She breaks away again, trailing kisses along her jaw. “Fuck, I’ve wanted this.”

“Yeah?” Dakota asks, voice high and breathy and it goes right to Kristen’s pussy.

“Yeah,” Kristen says, pulling back so she can catch Dakota’s gaze. “Not, not back then, obviously, but shit, Coda, since I’ve come back you’re all I can think about.”

Dakota smiles softly even as her eyes grow mischievous and her finger finds Kristen’s neck, presses into the bruise that’s almost now faded. “Not _all_ ,” she says slyly.

Kristen rolls her eyes and brings Dakota’s hand up to her mouth, biting lightly on the finger that was just touching her skin, making Dakota gasp. “Fuck you, she’s just a friend,” Kristen says without heat, grinning.

Dakota nods, sobering. “I know I’m not one to talk...”

Kristen hates that look on her face and leans forward, cupping her cheeks. “Hey, look, you’re young, okay? If you want -- I mean, I’m pretty shit at sharing, but if you still wanna see Lucy or someone else, I’ll make it work, okay?”

Dakota’s shaking her head before Kristen even finishes. “I don’t, I. I don’t care if these are supposed to be the years I like, have a ton of fun and hookup with a bunch of people or whatever other stereotypical shit people say about college. I want you.”

Kristen trails her index finger down Dakota’s cheek, over her lips, biting her own when Dakota’s tongue comes out to touch it. “You could end up like me, you know. Shacked up with your high school sweetheart only to find it wasn’t forever after all.”

Dakota narrows her eyes. “Or it could work out and we’ll be like every great success story.”

Kristen laughs sharply. “I think that’s from a movie you probably haven’t seen.”

Dakota rolls her eyes, looking impatient and okay, Kristen’s fully aware she’s stalling. “I’m serious. Not about to not take a chance on you so how about you catch up a little, huh?”

Dakota’s smiling now, looking smug and wise beyond her years and Kristen knows there’s probably a million reasons why she should say no, knows this could crash and burn hardcore. She’s seen it all around her: her own relationship with Rob, her parents, her grandparents. But she’s never been one to take the easy way out, and fuck it, she believes in Dakota. Believes in _them_. That they can be good.

She closes the distance between them and slides one hand slowly down Dakota’s dress, slipping underneath it and pressing against her pussy, making her gasp, before murmuring, “How’s this for catching up?” She fits their mouths together, swallowing Dakota’s moan.

It’s so inappropriate to do here and they could totally get caught, but the place seems deserted right now and Dakota’s moaning so sweetly, going right to Kristen’s cunt that she can’t not touch her harder, faster, slipping beneath Dakota’s underwear after asking breathlessly, “Is this okay?” and Dakota gasping, “Yes, oh, fuck, yes.”

Kristen covers Dakota’s body mostly with her own, trying to hide exactly what they’re doing in case anyone walks by, her hand trapped beneath their bodies, Dakota’s bare thighs grazing against the denim of Kristen’s jeans.

Kristen catches all of Dakota’s moans with her lips, feels them vibrate against her mouth as she works her clit. Dakota’s shaved, silky smooth and so fucking wet. Kristen’s own body shakes as they kiss, as she takes Dakota closer and closer, if her increasing moans are anything to go by.

“Mmmph, oh, Kristen,” she sighs against Kristen’s mouth, her tongue inching out for them to kiss again, dirtily, mouths barely touching as Dakota shakes and arches against Kristen’s hand.

“Holy shit,” Kristen stutters out, feeling Dakota pulse around her, feeling her body shiver and fall apart.

Dakota can’t even talk for a few moments and so Kristen just strokes her skin gently, wipes her hand on the grass beside him, fixes both of their clothing.

“Let me,” Dakota says softly as she pushes her face against Kristen’s neck.

Kristen just strokes her hair and shakes her head, kissing her cheek.

“We’ve got time.”

And they do. A lot of time.

___________________________

Epilogue

_fill up your lungs with us_

On their one year anniversary, Kristen asks Dakota to open up the glove box and pass her her sunglasses. Dakota doesn’t even realize Kristen’s sunglasses are on her head until she’s got her hand in the compartment and her fingers wrapped around a square shaped wrapped item.

“We said no presents,” Dakota chides.

Kristen rolls her eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Just open it, huh?”

Dakota does. It’s a CD entitled ‘The Musical Education of Dakota Fanning Part 2: A Compromise.’ On it Kristen’s got a few things she’s mentioned to Dakota over the past year such as Patti Smith, The Stooges, and The Kinks. But she’s also got Ellie Goulding and the one Hilary Duff song Dakota likes and Taylor Swift and Katy Perry.

“You actually listened to some of these?” Dakota says, heart swelling a little in her chest.

Kristen lifts one shoulder. “The things I do for love, eh?”

Dakota’s mouth drops open and she stares at Kristen. That’s the first mention of the L word, even though Dakota’s been thinking it well before they got together.

Kristen starts nervously tapping the wheel, darting quick glances at Dakota and then away again. “Stop staring at me and say something,” she finally says, sounding a little desperate.

“I love you, too,” is her easy response, a smile taking over her face as Kristen continues to drive. Dakota links their fingers together and thinks about them christening Kristen’s new apartment tonight with anniversary sex and her mix playing in the background.

[end]

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